Ms. Jelly...I find Double-shot Margaritas to do the trick...now what was I worried about?LOL!

Thanks Oneworldt -it was great! Now a nieces wedding to get through and then Vegas. Can't wait!

quote:

Originally posted by KIMPY:
Ms. Jelly...I find Double-shot Margaritas to do the trick...now what was I worried about?LOL!

Thanks, Kimpy. I'll take ten.
I'm off to my day job now. I hope to see everyone when I come back.

quote:

Originally posted by paolocrush:
Thanks Oneworldt -it was great! Now a nieces wedding to get through and then Vegas. Can't wait!

Hope you enjoy the wedding! Congratulations to the groom and bride-to-be!

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas... Viva Las Vegas!!! I'm excited about it and I'm not even going!!!

check this out, pretty hilarous


THE BLUE RULES



If you are new to the blues, or like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:

1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning ... "

2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes--sort of: Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound."

4. The Blues is not about choice. "You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch ... ain't no way out."

5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or sport utility vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' ta die.

6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues; they ain't fixin' ta die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Clarksdale, Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis, and N'awlins are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chompin' on it is.

9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway

b. jailhouse

c. empty bed

d. bottom of a whiskey glass

11. Bad places for the Blues:

a. Nordstrom's

b. gallery openings

c. Ivy League institutions

d. golf courses

12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt

b. you're blind

c. you shot a man in Memphis

d. you can't be satisfied

No, if:

a. you have all your teeth

b. you were once blind but now can see

c. the man in Memphis lived

d. you have a 401K or trust fund

14. Blues is not a matter of color, it's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a
leg up on the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:

a. cheap wine

b. whiskey or bourbon

c. black coffee

d. muddy water

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

a. Perrier

b. chardonnay

c. Snapple

d. Slim Fast

16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are
the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or during liposuction.

17. Some Blues names for women:

a. Sadie

b. Big Mama

c. Bessie

d. Hot Dumpling

18. Some Blues names for men:

a. Joe

b. Willie

c. Little Willie

d. Big Willie

19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. LMAO

20. Blues Name Starter Kit

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)

b. first name plus name of fruit (Lemon Lime, Peach, etc.)

c. last name of a president, for example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson or Cripple Peach Filmore, etc.

21. I don't care how tragic your life is: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry.

quote:

Originally posted by marcela-chile (Southamerica):
19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. LMAO

Come on! That's not fair! lmao....


That was great, Marcela.

Funny Marcela-thanks.

Deaf/Blind Lemon Bush will soon be singin' da Blues...LOL!

LMAO!!!! I'm posting that on the BDS board if Michelle hasn't already beaten me to it.

LMAO!!!! I'm posting that on the BDS board if Michelle hasn't already beaten me to it.

quote:

Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis. LMAO

Then Michelle's just going to have to change her name to "Hot Dumpling."

Ya know. . .now that I think about it (because you know I've been sitting here trying to invent Blues names) whoever wrote this should have specified which physical infirmities were Blues infirmities. I don't think things like tennis elbow, in-grown toenail and gout would be considered Blues infirmities.

quote:

Originally posted by bibliomaniac:
Ya know. . .now that I think about it (because you know I've been sitting here trying to invent Blues names) whoever wrote this should have specified which physical infirmities were Blues infirmities. I don't think things like tennis elbow, in-grown toenail and gout would be considered Blues infirmities.

What about the " Bretzel chompin' lemon Bush Blues" ???

Hilarious!!! LMAO!!!!!

I'm sittin here gettin ready,suitcase packed again,cats feeded again,and i'll leave for Gurtenfestival,Berne and Luxembourg show. OMG,I still can't believe it that TONIGHT I'll see Paolo and the new band for the very first time !!!!!! *jumps up and down*
Premiere......I'm so bloody excited that it just feels unreal...do you know that feeling ???
Just can't believe it
Fortunenately weather changed,pouring rain yesterday,seems to be dry today...

So,here we go,here we come...whopeeeeeeewooooo

How fantastic Sambista... I am really excited for you... mind get photos of everyone including roadies and buses

Theres something really good about being the only one in the arena singing along to the new songs - HAVE FUN

Are you taking the laptop with you?

I hope the sun shines Sambista